Me and my wife were one of the many "Londoners" that braved the cold rainy day to vote for South Africa. We were very impressed with the turn-out, and they were even fairly organized.
We can only hope that we will make a difference, the scale of problems in Africa are huge, and corruption is unfortunately a daily reality in our governments. The sad fact is that we probably would never have another Mandela and if and when we do, it may be too late. The ANC will probably always be in power mostly due to the post apartheid loyalty to the ANC rather than any real indication of how well or not they run the country.
So now we are entering a new and again, unknown era of the new South Africa. Will the ANC get their 2/3rds majority? We can also just speculate on how Mr Zuma will turn out, some say because of his history it will not go well for our country but to some he is a hero. We can only wait and hope he will continue to make South Africa the beackon of hope in Africa that it stumbled into being. For all his faults he is a good speaker, maybe too good. Which is apparent by his huge following, but is it all just talk. We hear the words of his speaches and then he toi toi in the streets singing about guns and killing. Maybe he is just a fan of angry music, maybe its is premature victory dance. Only time will tell.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Classic Irish Joke
Mick and Paddy were walking home from the pub.
Mick says to Paddy, ' I can't be bothered to walk all dat way.'
'I know,' says Paddy, 'but we've no money for a cab and we've missed the last Bus home.'
'We could steal a bus from the depot,' Mick suggests.
They arrive at the bus depot and Mick tells Paddy to go in and get a bus while He keeps a look-out.
After shuffling around for ages, Mick shouts, 'Paddy, what are you doing? Have you not found one yet?'
Paddy shouts back, 'I can't find a No. 91'
'Oh Jeysus Christ, ye thick sod, take a No. 14 and we'll walk from the Roundabout.
Mick says to Paddy, ' I can't be bothered to walk all dat way.'
'I know,' says Paddy, 'but we've no money for a cab and we've missed the last Bus home.'
'We could steal a bus from the depot,' Mick suggests.
They arrive at the bus depot and Mick tells Paddy to go in and get a bus while He keeps a look-out.
After shuffling around for ages, Mick shouts, 'Paddy, what are you doing? Have you not found one yet?'
Paddy shouts back, 'I can't find a No. 91'
'Oh Jeysus Christ, ye thick sod, take a No. 14 and we'll walk from the Roundabout.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Read if you feel like laughing for 5 minutes
Natal is a province in South Africa, which apparently has the highest quota of Indians outside of India...
Natal curry contest.
If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope
for you. I was crying by the end.......
NOTE:
If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third
judge is even better.
For those of you who have lived in Natal, you know how typical this is!
They actually have a Curry Cook-off about June/July.
It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in PMB.
Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting
from America.
Frank: "Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a Curry
Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and so
I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for
directions to the Beer Garden when the call came in. I was assured by
the other two judges (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all
that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the
tasting, so I accepted".
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
CURRY # 1 - SEELAN'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the
flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.
CHILI # 2 - PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chili tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what
I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who
wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre! They had to rush in more beer
when they saw the look on my face.
CURRY # 3 - SHAMILA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of chili peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call 911. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like
I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now.
Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now
my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pissed from
all the beer.
CHILI # 4 - BABOOS BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish
or other mild foods, not much of a curry.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable
to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Shareen, the beer
maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 200kg woman is
starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is
chili an aphrodisiac?
CHILI # 5 LALL'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,
adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Must admit the
chili peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and
I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me
needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that
her chili had given me brain damage. Shareen saved my tongue from
bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off.
It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
Screw them
CHILI # 6 - VERISHNEE'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of
spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.
Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I am definitely going to shit myself if I fart and
I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to
stand behind me except that Shareen. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need
to wipe my ass with a snow cone ice cream.
CHILI # 7 - SELINA'S "MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE" CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
chili peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this stage
that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of
distress as he is cursing uncontrollably).
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. Ive lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds
like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which
slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my
shirt. At least, during the autopsy, theyll know what killed me. I've
decided to stop breathing - it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway.
If I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
CHILI # 8 - NAIDOOS TOENAIL CURLING CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not too
bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild
nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted,
passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself.
Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he'd have
reacted to really hot curry?
Judge # 3 - No Report
Natal curry contest.
If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope
for you. I was crying by the end.......
NOTE:
If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third
judge is even better.
For those of you who have lived in Natal, you know how typical this is!
They actually have a Curry Cook-off about June/July.
It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in PMB.
Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting
from America.
Frank: "Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a Curry
Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and so
I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for
directions to the Beer Garden when the call came in. I was assured by
the other two judges (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all
that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the
tasting, so I accepted".
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
CURRY # 1 - SEELAN'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the
flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.
CHILI # 2 - PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chili tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what
I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who
wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre! They had to rush in more beer
when they saw the look on my face.
CURRY # 3 - SHAMILA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of chili peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call 911. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like
I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now.
Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now
my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pissed from
all the beer.
CHILI # 4 - BABOOS BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish
or other mild foods, not much of a curry.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable
to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Shareen, the beer
maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 200kg woman is
starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is
chili an aphrodisiac?
CHILI # 5 LALL'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,
adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Must admit the
chili peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and
I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me
needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that
her chili had given me brain damage. Shareen saved my tongue from
bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off.
It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
Screw them
CHILI # 6 - VERISHNEE'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of
spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.
Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I am definitely going to shit myself if I fart and
I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to
stand behind me except that Shareen. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need
to wipe my ass with a snow cone ice cream.
CHILI # 7 - SELINA'S "MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE" CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
chili peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this stage
that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of
distress as he is cursing uncontrollably).
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. Ive lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds
like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which
slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my
shirt. At least, during the autopsy, theyll know what killed me. I've
decided to stop breathing - it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway.
If I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
CHILI # 8 - NAIDOOS TOENAIL CURLING CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not too
bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild
nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted,
passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself.
Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he'd have
reacted to really hot curry?
Judge # 3 - No Report
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